Where I am

It seems things in my previous world are either heating up or winding down. It's a fine line really. I wonder how I would have handled it, had I not been brought to a great new job that I enjoy very much? It makes you stop and think is all this for some reason? I know that amid the tumultuous last two years, I have discovered what I am capable of. 

I've learned to really love someone with my whole heart and not hide anything from them! That in its self is no small feat! To absolutely know, without shadow of a doubt, that I am to be with this woman... it fills me with something new. Within me a glow is apparent. Every time I picture her I feel a warm fuzzy float up my neck... that is why I love her. She is the only person that's done that to me. A thought, so powerful.

But, I could not have gotten to this point without what came before. None of this is news to anyone, but on my journey it's real at the moment. All of the moments from my birth to this very posting has lead me to new feelings, understanding and mindset. I am thankful for what came before,  I enjoy the now and hope for the future. 

To know what lays ahead is not important, it's where we are that counts. 

Just when you thought you had it...

It was gone in an instant. Seven days is just not enough time. She had been away so long and was here so briefly. We both know that it will be over soon. We both know that we love each other. 

None of the things I just mentioned help the fact that I toss and turn at night when she's not there. I miss the warmth she gives off. I miss the way she holds me, and the way she feels when I hold her. 

I try to tell my self that this is good. Somehow this will make us stronger. It doesn't! It makes it worse. I want her here. I want her to be sitting on the porch reading a book when I come home from work. I want to meet her at a bar in Westport, have dinner, get drunk, be home by 8 and make love all night. 

It will happen I know. We will see each other during the time she's gone. But her absence has made me know what I love so much about her... her love for me. I have never felt someone love me so deeply, care so much or love so hard as her. 

Thank you my friend, my lover, my good time girl!